Life is Bullshit

Today I was driving around doing a million things at once (as usual) and I get a call on my cell phone. It was a local area code and exchange, so thinking it might be important, I answered it.

“Hello, this is the American Diabetes Association. We are sorry but no one is available to speak with you now,” said the prerecorded voice.

I thought, “Why the hell did you just call me then?”

It continued with, “Please hold the line and someone will be right with you.”

I hung up.

Fuck anyone who calls me with the premeditated thought to put me on hold as soon as I answer. What kind of bullshit is that? I mean, really.

As for this picture, I swear to god I didn’t doctor it just to show off some big tits. I actually found it already this way on Photobucket. Strange, eh?

Because seriously folks, I am broke as a joke. Open my wallet and all you’ll see is moths cuz the butterflies left months ago.

It’s not like I’m not working, because I am. Which by the way, I’ll bet anybody hands down that my boss is the biggest douchebag on this planet NEXT to George H W Bush Jr, and just about as clueless. But I digress. I bought a car. Said car happened to be in a fender bender. Said car needed a lot of money in repairs. I am now out 1200 dollars, and still have no car to drive. Why? Because the shop that is supposed to be fixing it really has no fucking clue. And when one thing gets fixed….. another one breaks. This, ladies and gentlemen, is bullshit. Just because I am a girl does not mean that I know jack shit about cars. I actually know a lot about cars, and I also happen to know Jack Schitt. He’s a nice guy.

That having been said, if you would like to make donations, please send any and all credit cards, cash, and anything else you can think of. It would be much appreciated, seeing as how I’m getting to work every day on pocket lint and fumes.

So last night J and I where trying to play Resident Evil 5 on PS3 in co-op mode. After getting knocked off the game several times in the past (and again last night) he and I decided it would be best to hook the PS3 directly to the modem instead of trying to use his wireless. We were on the phone and J has Digital Voice but since he had to reset his modem to clear the wireless settings our call was terminated by the reset (this is normal). After the phone service came back up he called back and I was trying to help him with settings over the phone. After all settings where input he still got multiple error messages so I told him he is gonna have to reset his modem again.

We hung up, and I didn’t hear back from J until 8 hours later when I received this email from him:

Here’s what happened earlier. Brace yourself.

1. You told me to reset the modem again as part of our efforts to get the wired Internets working for my PS3—an effort which, if you remember, had inexplicably failed (with internally contradictory error messages) up until that point.

2. We hung up because resetting the modem would disconnect us anyway. (VOIP is not really my favorite thing.)

3. I pressed the reset modem on the back of the modem.

4. All the lights went out except “Link,” which stayed steadily lit.

5. My internets and phone weren’t functioning, so I pressed the reset button again.

6. Nothing happened. Reset button did nothing on subsequent presses.

7. Needing to reset it somehow, I disconnected the modem from the power supply.

8. The Link light stayed lit and everything else stayed dark and nonfunctional.

9. I reasoned that there had to be a battery inside the modem, which I’d have to remove to be able to reset it.

10. I opened the battery compartment AND NO BATTERY WAS INSTALLED. EMPTY.

11. I screamed “THIS IS BULL SHIT!” Et cetera.

12. The Link light stayed solidly lit, with the modem providing no functionality whatsoever, for the next eight hours.

13. The Link light went dead.

14. I plugged the power back in.

15. Modem resumed normal function.

Unanswered Questions:

1. How the hell did trying to configure the PS3 for wired Internets evidently F up the modem?

2. What was keeping that Link light on?

3. If I try again to set up the PS3 for wired Internets, will I have to relive this nightmare?

I’m so sorry J. Comcast really needs a boot up there ass!

It is, of course, an indisputable fact that women are constantly spewing bullshit. But is this an inherent tendency, or one acquired from many years of exposure to other women’s bullshit and exposure to men who pretend to care what women are talking about?

Watch the following and decide for yourself:

http://richards-creations.net/Videos/Are-women-born-like-this.html

Many people rag on this guy for leaving the kind of phone messages that he did, but isn’t the guy just being straight forward and honest? Are people too sensitive to hear the truth? Does everyone need stuff sugar-coated and spoon fed to them? This guy wants to fuck this girl, what’s the problem people?

That being said, this is one of my favorite phone message MP3s floating around the net. It’s an oldy but a goody.

Have a listen.

Dimitri The Stud Phone Message