If you’ve read my posts over the past year, you might start to get the impression that while bullshit certainly isn’t a new phenomenon, the internet has certainly had more effect on the quantity and quality of today’s special-reserve-batch of bullshit than anything else in the recorded history of humanity.

Here are some internet related special-reserve-batches of bullshit:

• People getting fired over drunken Facebook postings
• Your family and friends finding out you are gay because of Facebook postings
• Car accidents because people are IMing while driving
• Having AIDS infected babies from having sex with one too many cam-whores (RL hookups gone wrong)
• Home medical diagnosis using WedMD which results in your taking your pulse every 2 minutes or OD on some medicine which causes you to shit and piss yourself
• Sites like chatroulette.com where people dress up in ape costumes, demand you show your tits or the bird gets it or even pretend to be Hitler

All for the Lulz, right?

Who is to actually blame for this insanity? Is it Al Gore, inventor of the Interwebz? Perhaps it is Microsoft who fucked us in every conceivable way by bringing us second rate software and, as a result, ultra cheap computers to the masses? Maybe it was all those internet porn companies, without which, the average website wouldn’t even have the ad revenue to operate.

I blame you, Gabriel Battista!

NOPE. It’s none of the above. I did some checking and Gabriel Battista over at VeriSign is actually responsible for all this bullshit! Can you believe it? He had the nerve to register the TLD .com on December 31, 1994 and the bullshit has been flying since. Why would you go and do such a thing? Way to go Gabriel Battista, we give you two cow paddies up!

Even I, someone who has witnessed more countless acts of bullshit than anyone in the history of humanity, couldn’t believe this.

Apparently there is something wrong with women, I mean really wrong with them, and it requires this product to fix the problem.

Who the hell comes up with this bullshit and for the love of all things holy, who would be interested in buying it. I mean, I guess it could be a joke, but then why are there four different shades? Even if this was a real problem, who would notice you’d used it?

Someone please wake me from this horrible, horrible bullshit induced nightmare.

Not that anyone probably gives a shit, but the site has been upgraded to WP 2.9 and I installed the new Pixel theme so the empty meta-tags bug is now fixed.

Happy holidays and have a bullshit free new year!

Meghan McCain is being roundly criticized for posting a certain picture of herself on her Twitter. She took it down, so here it is:

Apparently Meghan McCain is expected to hide her awesome rack while she is in her own house late at night dicking around on her computer. Were I to be reminded of the said awesomeness of said rack, I would have to begin bitching and moaning in the press about how upsetting this was. That is, if I were some liberal homo.

Look, this is really serious. When you start to put politics above boobs, you are crossing a line I am absolutely not prepared to cross with you. Ever.

The headline should have been “HOLY SHIT, MEGHAN MCCAIN HAS FANTASTIC BOOBS” and then, way down on the page, there could have been a little mini-story with a header reading “Liberal Fags Appalled, Wish Obama Had Tits and a Twitter.”

Her picture was the least gay thing I’ve ever seen on Twitter. That means her breasts managed to overcome the presence of Andy Warhol-related material in the photo*, and he was like some sort of gay superhero. The fact that it generates bullshit objections from anyone is genuinely alarming.

*Yes, there’s a book in the photo also; go back and check it again, or just download it for posterity

Tinker Bell is kind of hot for a fairy. Weird to just come out and say it, yeah, but if you thought so too, don’t worry. Because Walt Disney himself specified she should have a “playful sex appeal.” So she looks like this:

And now they’ve redesigned her into this:

WHAT

Do you think you put enough clothes on her, you fruits? Will she be voyaging to the Arctic in your next Disney straight-to-DVD piece of garbage?

We’ve grown too politically correct to have hot fairies. Disney wants tween girls getting all slippery over the Jonas Brothers, but Tinker Bell is TOO SEXY.

You know, Walt Disney may have been an anti-Semite, but…

I’ll just start that sentence over. Walt Disney was pretty cool, and knew how to make a hot, scantily clad blonde fairy.

YOU BLOCK MY DRIVE WAY

I’m thinking to myself, “what is your problem asshole? I am not the one blocking the driveway.”

I sit there for about 20 seconds until the light turns green and the opposing traffic starts moving. The whole time the asshole behind me is honking and no one in the opposing lane is letting me go.

I honestly wanted to pull out a full auto weapon and just spray everyone with bullets.

Ah… isn’t road rage wonderful.

So I was reading somewhere online through google news that a computer nerd in Ontario (Blame Canada!) has created the perfect robotic wife Aiko, who has 24 moving parts including fingers, toes and mouth, and can respond to verbal commands in both English and Japanese. I think it’s a little sexist because it seems she was created to blindly follow her “master” and do as he wishes her to.

I mean come on. It’s cool that someone can do this, but how much time has this guy WASTED trying to perfect this?? And why the fuck would you? Just think, while you were at home building your robot, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN OUT GETTING LAID! This right here folks, is the highest level of bullshit commited by men unto women. I mean can you imagine trying to fuck this thing? It’d be like fucking a bag of metal, bolts, and bones…. but at least it won’t want to cuddle when he’s done or nag him for more attention…

Gives a whole new meaning to the term Fem-Bot. At least missiles don’t launch from her jumblies, because it appears this robot doesn’t have much there to begin with.

Check out the video and article I read here.

OK, maybe this was an honest mistake, ok I’m wiling to admit it probably was, but isn’t it someone’s job to double check this shit before it goes on the air? For this failing, I call bullshit on you UNNEWS.

We don't know what the fuck we are doing!

PS – Just looking at this anchor’s face makes me want to slap-a-bitch.

Today I was driving around doing a million things at once (as usual) and I get a call on my cell phone. It was a local area code and exchange, so thinking it might be important, I answered it.

“Hello, this is the American Diabetes Association. We are sorry but no one is available to speak with you now,” said the prerecorded voice.

I thought, “Why the hell did you just call me then?”

It continued with, “Please hold the line and someone will be right with you.”

I hung up.

Fuck anyone who calls me with the premeditated thought to put me on hold as soon as I answer. What kind of bullshit is that? I mean, really.

As for this picture, I swear to god I didn’t doctor it just to show off some big tits. I actually found it already this way on Photobucket. Strange, eh?