Life is Bullshit

Hi everybody. I’m Chunky Tuna, the newest addition to the lifeisbullshit.com writing crew. This is my first post. If you don’t like it, you can go fuck yourself.

What I want to know is, why do men lie to women? Why do they fake being interested, exchange phone numbers with them (and/or email addresses), endlessly text and email but never call? Why do they act like they’re all interested one minute, then turn into pushy, insensitive and all out douchebags the next? Simple. They only want the poonanny.

Example: I was talking er TEXTING… to someone who used to be an acquaintence of mine, someone whom I haven’t talked to in quite a long time. We got to texting about hanging out again, meeting for dinner or something. Now, to understand where I’m going with this you have to understand that he is the classic ignorer. Doesn’t return voicemails, will email me but never respond, will text message the hell out of me though, but never call. I finally got sick of his bullshit and called him on it. He accuses me of being mean, then being the condescending asshole that he is, says that I should just shut up and give in to his manly demands. THIS IS BULLSHIT! I am not your slave nor am I a whore. Or YOUR whore in particular.

He needs to get over himself and I hope he has fun doing it alone.

The lesson for today is: Don’t treat a woman like shit and lie to her, then expect her to want to fuck you, mmkay?

I had a lot of respect for my mom’s mom. She was a very strong, opinionated women. She was small in stature and a bit chubby, but man oh man she had a knack for detecting, filtering and processing bullshit. When she was alive she owned many commercial properties including a hardware store. As a result people where always doing business with her and often times they would try to fuck her out of money or steal from her. She would get all sorts of bogus bills in the mail and many of them where trying to collect money for work that wasn’t done correctly, or sometimes wasn’t done at all.

She had this rubber stamp (back before email in the 1980s) and she used to press the rubber hard into this red ink pad and slam it down on the offending invalid bill. The stamp left behind the word “BULLSHIT,” in thick red letters.  She would then take the bill, now marked with the word BULLSHIT and actually mail it back to the person who sent it. Man she had balls and I loved her for it.

Why can’t more people be like my Bubby?