Life is Bullshit

Even I, someone who has witnessed more countless acts of bullshit than anyone in the history of humanity, couldn’t believe this.

Apparently there is something wrong with women, I mean really wrong with them, and it requires this product to fix the problem.

Who the hell comes up with this bullshit and for the love of all things holy, who would be interested in buying it. I mean, I guess it could be a joke, but then why are there four different shades? Even if this was a real problem, who would notice you’d used it?

Someone please wake me from this horrible, horrible bullshit induced nightmare.

I was coming home from work the other day and wanted to stop off and get a drink. I put my left hand turn signal on and pull up to the driveway which leads into the parking lot I want to enter. Wouldn’t you know, all the assholes in the opposing lane are blocking the entrance to the driveway. No sooner than I see this mess does some jerk off pull up behind me and start leaning on his horn.

I’m thinking to myself, “what is your problem asshole? I am not the one blocking the driveway.”

I sit there for about 20 seconds until the light turns green and the opposing traffic starts moving. The whole time the asshole behind me is honking and no one in the opposing lane is letting me go.

I honestly wanted to pull out a full auto weapon and just spray everyone with bullets.

Ah… isn’t road rage wonderful.

So I was reading somewhere online through google news that a computer nerd in Ontario (Blame Canada!) has created the perfect robotic wife Aiko, who has 24 moving parts including fingers, toes and mouth, and can respond to verbal commands in both English and Japanese. I think it’s a little sexist because it seems she was created to blindly follow her “master” and do as he wishes her to.

I mean come on. It’s cool that someone can do this, but how much time has this guy WASTED trying to perfect this?? And why the fuck would you? Just think, while you were at home building your robot, YOU COULD HAVE BEEN OUT GETTING LAID! This right here folks, is the highest level of bullshit commited by men unto women. I mean can you imagine trying to fuck this thing? It’d be like fucking a bag of metal, bolts, and bones…. but at least it won’t want to cuddle when he’s done or nag him for more attention…

Gives a whole new meaning to the term Fem-Bot. At least missiles don’t launch from her jumblies, because it appears this robot doesn’t have much there to begin with.

Check out the video and article I read here.

So last night J and I where trying to play Resident Evil 5 on PS3 in co-op mode. After getting knocked off the game several times in the past (and again last night) he and I decided it would be best to hook the PS3 directly to the modem instead of trying to use his wireless. We were on the phone and J has Digital Voice but since he had to reset his modem to clear the wireless settings our call was terminated by the reset (this is normal). After the phone service came back up he called back and I was trying to help him with settings over the phone. After all settings where input he still got multiple error messages so I told him he is gonna have to reset his modem again.

We hung up, and I didn’t hear back from J until 8 hours later when I received this email from him:

Here’s what happened earlier. Brace yourself.

1. You told me to reset the modem again as part of our efforts to get the wired Internets working for my PS3—an effort which, if you remember, had inexplicably failed (with internally contradictory error messages) up until that point.

2. We hung up because resetting the modem would disconnect us anyway. (VOIP is not really my favorite thing.)

3. I pressed the reset modem on the back of the modem.

4. All the lights went out except “Link,” which stayed steadily lit.

5. My internets and phone weren’t functioning, so I pressed the reset button again.

6. Nothing happened. Reset button did nothing on subsequent presses.

7. Needing to reset it somehow, I disconnected the modem from the power supply.

8. The Link light stayed lit and everything else stayed dark and nonfunctional.

9. I reasoned that there had to be a battery inside the modem, which I’d have to remove to be able to reset it.

10. I opened the battery compartment AND NO BATTERY WAS INSTALLED. EMPTY.

11. I screamed “THIS IS BULL SHIT!” Et cetera.

12. The Link light stayed solidly lit, with the modem providing no functionality whatsoever, for the next eight hours.

13. The Link light went dead.

14. I plugged the power back in.

15. Modem resumed normal function.

Unanswered Questions:

1. How the hell did trying to configure the PS3 for wired Internets evidently F up the modem?

2. What was keeping that Link light on?

3. If I try again to set up the PS3 for wired Internets, will I have to relive this nightmare?

I’m so sorry J. Comcast really needs a boot up there ass!