Life is Bullshit

If you’ve read my posts over the past year, you might start to get the impression that while bullshit certainly isn’t a new phenomenon, the internet has certainly had more effect on the quantity and quality of today’s special-reserve-batch of bullshit than anything else in the recorded history of humanity.

Here are some internet related special-reserve-batches of bullshit:

• People getting fired over drunken Facebook postings
• Your family and friends finding out you are gay because of Facebook postings
• Car accidents because people are IMing while driving
• Having AIDS infected babies from having sex with one too many cam-whores (RL hookups gone wrong)
• Home medical diagnosis using WedMD which results in your taking your pulse every 2 minutes or OD on some medicine which causes you to shit and piss yourself
• Sites like chatroulette.com where people dress up in ape costumes, demand you show your tits or the bird gets it or even pretend to be Hitler

All for the Lulz, right?

Who is to actually blame for this insanity? Is it Al Gore, inventor of the Interwebz? Perhaps it is Microsoft who fucked us in every conceivable way by bringing us second rate software and, as a result, ultra cheap computers to the masses? Maybe it was all those internet porn companies, without which, the average website wouldn’t even have the ad revenue to operate.

I blame you, Gabriel Battista!

NOPE. It’s none of the above. I did some checking and Gabriel Battista over at VeriSign is actually responsible for all this bullshit! Can you believe it? He had the nerve to register the TLD .com on December 31, 1994 and the bullshit has been flying since. Why would you go and do such a thing? Way to go Gabriel Battista, we give you two cow paddies up!

Not that anyone probably gives a shit, but the site has been upgraded to WP 2.9 and I installed the new Pixel theme so the empty meta-tags bug is now fixed.

Happy holidays and have a bullshit free new year!

Meghan McCain is being roundly criticized for posting a certain picture of herself on her Twitter. She took it down, so here it is:

Apparently Meghan McCain is expected to hide her awesome rack while she is in her own house late at night dicking around on her computer. Were I to be reminded of the said awesomeness of said rack, I would have to begin bitching and moaning in the press about how upsetting this was. That is, if I were some liberal homo.

Look, this is really serious. When you start to put politics above boobs, you are crossing a line I am absolutely not prepared to cross with you. Ever.

The headline should have been “HOLY SHIT, MEGHAN MCCAIN HAS FANTASTIC BOOBS” and then, way down on the page, there could have been a little mini-story with a header reading “Liberal Fags Appalled, Wish Obama Had Tits and a Twitter.”

Her picture was the least gay thing I’ve ever seen on Twitter. That means her breasts managed to overcome the presence of Andy Warhol-related material in the photo*, and he was like some sort of gay superhero. The fact that it generates bullshit objections from anyone is genuinely alarming.

*Yes, there’s a book in the photo also; go back and check it again, or just download it for posterity

Tinker Bell is kind of hot for a fairy. Weird to just come out and say it, yeah, but if you thought so too, don’t worry. Because Walt Disney himself specified she should have a “playful sex appeal.” So she looks like this:

And now they’ve redesigned her into this:

WHAT

Do you think you put enough clothes on her, you fruits? Will she be voyaging to the Arctic in your next Disney straight-to-DVD piece of garbage?

We’ve grown too politically correct to have hot fairies. Disney wants tween girls getting all slippery over the Jonas Brothers, but Tinker Bell is TOO SEXY.

You know, Walt Disney may have been an anti-Semite, but…

I’ll just start that sentence over. Walt Disney was pretty cool, and knew how to make a hot, scantily clad blonde fairy.